It also proved something else: Van Damme could act. Here was a film that defied genre convention to deliver an enjoyably slick sci-fi yarn alongside the usual high kicking action. Previous hits like Kickboxer had essentially served as showcases for the Muscles from Brussels’ fighting abilities alone but this was different. That was the day Timecop hit cinemas and the moment JCVD’s career changed forever. If Jean-Claude Van Damme were to ever get his hands on a time machine, he might well be tempted to travel back to September 16, 1994. Sure, there'd be a moment of initial confusion, but then you'd think everything would click.Celebrating Van Damme’s Sci-Fi Classic Timecop (1994) She must've known that, at some point in the future, Van Damme was going to come home from work and just collapse into a sobbing heap in her arms. Timecop ends with Timecop passionately kissing his wife, finally able to hold her again after 10 years of brutal mourning, and she gives him a strange look and says, "You all right?" I know it's been 10 years, but she HAS to remember the night her two husbands killed a bunch of time terrorists and blew up her house. I like to believe they filmed an alternate ending in which Van Damme is thrown into a rage after seeing how his son is dressed and goes back in time to unmake the future. He looks like an Eddie Bauer catalog threw up in a K-Mart bathroom. There's no nice way to say this - Van Damme's kid looks like a total melvin. Also, the movie gives us every reason to believe that he probably did this in his underpants. He literally cut halfway through an onion and stopped mid-vegetable, just leaving the knife there, presumably as a warning to would-be intruders both about his state of mind and his access to cutlery. After successfully dodging the Taser attack and coming face-to-face with Screaming Knife Murderer, Van Damme glances over to his kitchenette to search for a weapon, resulting in my favorite shot of the entire film: Universal Pictures/Warner Home VideoĪt some point in between weepily consuming an entire bottle of whiskey and passing out in front of his dead wife's birdhouse-construction video, Van Damme stopped to cut up a bunch of vegetables for absolutely no reason and left them all out on the counter. The scene in which the most Van Damming occurs is when the two assassins attack him in his apartment after he spends an evening drinking heavily and watching old home movies of his wife. "I tried writing this report with my foot and just ax-kicked my desk in half." But no, everyone just dismisses it immediately as, "What's with the kooky talk, sport? Sounds like you've been hittin' the time whiskey." Which, of course, Van Damme has, but that is irrelevant to the situation. You'd think with an agency that deals exclusively in time travel, there would be some kind of protocol on the books for situations in which time-traveling cosmonauts come back from a journey into the past frantically spitting out rambling, incongruous memories about an alternate reality. This cannot be the first time this has happened. Now, these people all work in the uniquely specific field of time defense - the possibility of altering the timeline of the universe is the entire reason their jobs exist. Even his closest friends don't know what the hell he is talking about. Or, you can light some incense and meditate in front of a Timecop poster and wait for the film to beam itself into your consciousness (you will need to have already purchased a Timecop poster for this particular strategy to work).Īt two different points in Timecop, Van Damme returns from a mission only to discover that the future has changed, and nobody else remembers the way the world was before he left. You can order a copy from Amazon, but if you're in a situation where you need to watch Timecop immediately, which I suspect you are, then you need to rent or buy it from Amazon's streaming service. It isn't on Netflix streaming at the time of this writing, and, in fact, Netflix's supply of Van Damme movies is woefully anemic (it is only seven titles deep, one of which is the sixth Universal Soldier installment, which is the Van Damme equivalent of the fifth Police Academy). For whatever reason, the demand for Timecop isn't sufficient enough to provoke retailers into keeping a ready stock of Timecop DVDs, videocassettes, or Blu-rays. If you want a physical copy of Timecop, you might have to actually travel back in time to acquire it, because finding one in 2014 is more challenging than I expected. 4 If You Want to Buy Timecop, You Have to Travel Back in Time
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